Posted by: Anna | August 9, 2010

Three

I honestly thought that when Joey turned three I would sob.  But maybe his tantrums are a little distracting at the present moment, and I can’t help but laugh (kind of inside) at the fact that he is now sitting in time out.  And staying quietly until I say go.

 Still, my heart starts beating faster thinking about the day he was born and how far we have come.   Almost the same nervous feeling I felt the day I knew I was about to give birth to my little man, the feeling of the unknown but full of eagerness and excitement.  I never cried during labor or feared giving birth.  But I was nervous at what was ahead, and giddy with excitement at nursing my newborn baby.

I felt all of that this morning, (well not the breastfeeding part people, that would just be werid) I woke up late, an hour late, missed my workout class and was about to think “Ugh, it better not be one of those days!” when I looked over at Joey and realized a three year old was sleeping in my bed.  And then I savored the moment.  Because he was sleeping of course, and hugged him and took him in because he is tall now, he is curious now, he is a long, sweet, affectionate, tantrum thrower who challenges me every day and makes my heart want to explode with love.

It wasn’t until I had Joey that I understood what unconditional love was.  It wasn’t until I had Joey that I knew what sacrifice was.  And it wasn’t until I had Joey that I realized what true sacrifice is.

I can get lost sometimes in the daily chores of life and raising Joey, but I stop myself to realize how blessed we are.  Joey is seriously one of the best things that have happened to me, he is my number one.  I’m so very grateful to have such a wonderful child in my life and feel lucky to have him as my son.  I want to turn back time and relive the moments with him, I don’t ever want to forget, I want to record everything to show him how awesome he was as a baby. 

My life pre Joey was selfish, and with him I learned to put myself second and to live my life to the fullest and be happy. Truly, genuinely happy.

Joey asks me every day if I am happy.  And yes, Joey, I am truly happy.  I am happy you are well and healthy and here in my life to stay.  Life isn’t perfect and I’m glad it isn’t.  This way we appreciate the great things that come our way in life and learn to savor them and keep them close to our hearts.

 I hope to teach you how to appreciate the awesomeness life can bring.  Sometimes you’ll cry because you’re angry, but the best tears are tears of happiness, and until I met you I didn’t know what those were. Life is not perfect by any means, it’s not fair sometimes even though it should be, people are mean, and some people, a lot of people are truly great.  And life will never be perfect, but perfect is BORING.  Life is better, it’s definitely real.

I love you Joey.

Excited and thrilled this morning!

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