Posted by: Anna | April 16, 2010

Single mommyhood

I try not to let the fact that I am a single mom define me.  I’m not sure why honestly, it’s not a big deal, but I hear, “Oh, wow, it must be so hard.” OR, “I could never do it alone.”  “You must be so tired.”

And I think it bothers me, one, because yes, guess what, it’s true, it’s exhausting, it’s hard and sometimes lonely when you play the calm parent, but have to also lay down the law. There is no one here to back me up, but me.

Yesterday I realized, shit, I am a single mom.  It’s so hard, I do EVERYTHING alone.  Everything!  There is no delegation of responsibilities.  I save all of my sick days for Joey.  All of them, only last week I was terribly sick that I actually had to take my last sick day for myself.  I was so disappointed, but oh well.  This week, the day was off with no pay.  But guess what, that’s my life, the life of a single mom I guess?   Your kids don’t get sick because it works in your schedule, life happens, and Joey is my responsibility.

 I don’t mind being my son’s world, because I’m my son’s world.  He looks up to me, we wake up together, I put him to bed, I feed him and he say, “Yummmmm, mommy, this is good,” when he likes dinner.  He can also say, “Um, I don’t want this,” at dinner also.

Yesterday turned out to be a very challenging day in mommyland.  Joey had an ear infection, fever and coughed all night.  I don’t believe either of us got any sleep since he couldn’t sleep himself.  In the morning after we showered and were eating breakfast, getting ready to head to the doctor, he runs to me, hugs my leg and say, “Mommy, I love you.”

“Mommy, I love you.”

He is 2 ½ years old, and yet those words, I’m thinking, he must know what they mean, because how else can he show me that affection?  Just when I’m about to hand myself the worst mom award, he does something completely awesome, along with counting to ten in English and Spanish at the top of his lungs  in ole’ Joey fashion at the  grocery store, I figure, I’m not that bad, right?


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