Posted by: Anna | March 26, 2010

It’s a bitch fest today

You know when you’re pregnant people try to betrothed you with all of their infamous “it worked for me” knowledge? Do you?

You should never nurse the baby to sleep.

You should nurse the baby to sleep, you’ll love it.

Don’t feed the baby cereal until he is six months old.

Sleep now because when the baby comes you will never sleep again.

That last phrase my friends, is correct.  If you are pregnant, if you don’t have children right now, you better get all the fuckin’ sleep you want, and while you’re at it, you married? You better have all the sex you want also anywhere in your house at any given time, because when you have children, spontaneity and sleep is no longer a daily occurrence.

And please, don’t give me, “When I have children, I won’t let that happen to me. I will still make love to my wife in the kitchen while our baby is napping.”

Allow me to not laugh in your face.

Things like sleep deprivation are not something we allow to happen to us, or wait, maybe it is, or maybe it just happens. 

I’m just going to remind you that I’m one person.  One tiny person who cooks, cleans, works, drives, teaches, bathes, comforts, kisses, and tremendously loves being a mommy. So if you come near me, just make sure you are holding something coconut water or a sundae, that will make me happy.

 I’m also currently on very little sleep because I listened to someone who said to allow my baby to sleep with me, the connection was so great.

And here it goes…

I’m currently putting Joey to bed in HIS bed.  That’s right, I am addicted to co-sleeping.  I have allowed Joey to sleep with me now for about a year and a half.  And gasp, you know why, it’s not a big deal.  I’m not sharing my bed with anyone anyway, and he is so sweet and soft.  Until the other day, when I realized that he was almost three, drinking from a sippy cup and sleeping with me.  Darn, I thought, where did the time go?  Shit, I totally was going to get on this seven months ago and now its seven months later and ugh, I have to brace myself.

It has been extremely difficult.  Last night I wanted to cry because after about two hours of walking him back to his room and not allowing him to put his hand in my armpit, (you know, he does that to soothe himself, he pinches my armpit!), Joey just cried, for hours.  His cry was the cry of “mommy, I can’t believe you are doing this to me! What? You don’t want me anymore?”

I felt like shit, and I soothed him, encouraged him and told him how proud I was that he was being a big boy, and I got a pillow and slept on the floor next to him.

When I finally woke up and walked to my room, fifteen minutes later Joey comes in with his pillow.

Ugh! At this point no one is sleeping I have to wake up for work in just a few hours and he has to wake up for preschool so I can work!  I just wanted to scream, cry, yell, and punch the wall.  I told him to get in bed, my bed and close his eyes.  After all my effort we were back to square one.  Feeling like a failure sucks. 

So when people try to tell you how they did it and what worked for them as parents, just listen!  Right, what works for them may not work for you, but if they got kids who are NOT sleeping with them, I’m sure they know more than we do.  Bring on the judgment.

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