Posted by: Anna | January 22, 2010

The Parent Personality Disorder

Growing up I was constantly fighting with my sister and possibly my dad.  My mom use to be the only person who got me.  I only say this to start, because beware, there is A LOT more where that came from.

You could say I have a temper.  I am pretty sarcastic and I am not one to kiss ass.  However, since having my son I have completely become a softy.

Example 1:

When returning to work after having Joey, I was an assistant basically to a boss who was a hard ass.  In turn, I had to become an even harder hard ass.  And because I became a softy and started mingling more with everyone and gushing about my son, everyone stated, “Wow Anna. You have changed. You are not so mean anymore.”  OMG, I always thought to myself, not only does my little sister think I’m mean but so do my co-workers.  But seriously, I had to be, I had a lot of shit to get done and I couldn’t take no for an answer.

After realizing what a hard-ass I use to be while I was crying (obviously, I wasn’t a hard ass anymore, I cried my eyes out at Juno and any TV or movies that was related to babies) I realized that now as mommy I had to change.  Because if it’s true, what I believe, kids feed off parents energy, and since I’m a single mom, my energy was always go go go, except when it came to Joey.

Example 2:

My brother had his friends visiting as well as cousins, all boys, and they all complimented Joey and how nice giving birth had made me.  Seriously, boys are afraid of me too, no fucking wonder.  I am huge smiler (I know, I probably just made that word up but it fits here) but if you are the creep whistling at me while I walk out of Target I will not smile at you.  I will probably give you the cold stare that basically translates to “FUCK OFF”. You do not want the cold stare from me; let’s just leave it at that.

So now, Joey is two years old.  Do you know what it is like to have a two year old?  Who by the way, yesterday as it was pouring in the morning and I was holding his hand under the umbrella instead of caring him in, he is crying and screaming, “Mama! I need you. Ma I need you”. Wow, great one kid. I am a winner here.  In front of the entire staff going, “Aww, is he saying he needs you? How sweet.” I tell you, this is the age boys learn to become manipulators.  I’m just saying.

And the hardest part for me is to say, “He is just being dramatic” (With a huge smile)

I am trying so very hard to be the stern and loveable one.  Because seriously, when you are ONE person and ONE parent you almost have to have personality disorder. You have to be the disciplinarian, the enforcer, the cook, the hugger, the one that does the laundry, fold the laundry, the sympathetic one, builds forts and plays with play dough and all of the above. And I DO enjoy it and I DO love it, but IT’S EXHAUSTING.

So to prevent myself from a nervous breakdown, Joey was on a two minute time out last night (because he is two, a minute for a year, don’t you know this?), he was screaming! The kid was terrified of the rain storm screaming, “Mommy, I need you!”  This is where you say “Awwwwww.” Because I felt like the bad parent for a minute to the hugger to the sympathetic parent to the one is now having to convince him that showering with bubbles will just make everyone feel better.

The end.

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