I tend to have a complex about my skin, my scars, and the size of my pores.  It’s awful.  Sometimes I really don’t give a shit what people think of me, but I can’t help obsessing over the health of my skin. I learned later in life (I’ve had acne on and off since I was twelve), in my very early twenties that everything I put in my body came out through my face. It really sucked, as I have a huge obsession with sweets.  Once I get started, it is very difficult for me to stop. Then when I get upset or stressed I crave fried food. 

I have learned to drink A LOT of water and to eat healthy, to learn to have some damn self control. I take supplements and drink green drinks and protein drinks because I never have enough time in the day to eat whatever my body truly needs. (Joey also takes vitamins and drinks healthy stuff, thank God).

I am always searching for the best, doesn’t kill my pocket, skin stuff. Like for example, Josie Maran’s Argan Oil and make-up I talked about here, and another find.  Now, Sephora is great for samples. And I received this AMAZING sample of a face cream, which I combine with the Argan oil, has dramatically altered the appearance of my skin.  I mean, it’s fucking unbelievable. The moisturizer…

Miracle Worker, by Philosophy

miracle worker, by Philosophy

And I am only gushing about it, because if you had seen me a few months ago and now, wow, I am beside myself.  And now with the Argan oil, I think I am set.  My favorite part of this moisturizer is it is also paraben free, sulfate free, etc…you can read about it here.  Now, I am not an expert of any sort, but I know what good skin ‘stuff’ is and I try to not eat too much junk or put too much gunk on my skin, and these products have ridiculously made a difference in my skin.

Behold, the face.

Using miracle worker and josie maran's products mentioned above

Now this stuff may not work for everyone, but it sure as hell worked for me! Enjoy!

I am a makeup fin.  And I love organic.  But I had never made the combination of the two, until now.

I was literally jumping for joy when I received this amazing set by Josie Maran cosmetics in the mail because they are natural, non toxic, eco-friendly and beautiful!!!

This set here Earth Day Essentials Kit rocks! It has a full size mascara in black, black eye liner, a cream blush, a Plumping Lip Gloss and a sample size of Argan oil, which by the way, has done tremendous things to my skin already—I’m addicted!

Earth Day Essentials Kit, $48

Josie Maran’s slogan: Luxury with a Conscience stays very true to form.  I would recommend jumping on her site and checking it out. Not only does she say what she wants to develop, the woman does it.  And she’s a gorgeous mommy, model, and entrepreneur! (snap snap)

I’m in the process of trying everything on and taking tons of pictures to display the beautiful makeup on muah!

Lately I have been busy, busy, busy.  One thing I love to do is look back of Joey’s pictures when he was a baby.  And I ran into some amazing shots, not AMAZING, but it reminded me of my crazy family and their amazing support.

If you have been reading my blog at all or know me at all, yes, I am a single mommy.  I have an amazing support group that I do take for granted.  One thing I would advise, if anyone cared to ask me, is get married with the love of your life before you have children.  Why?  Because as a woman…

1. You have your partner to back you up

2. Once you have a child, that love, right there, that is LOVE, unconditional love, it’s hard to get better than that or decide to compare

3. You can really yell at some one in the delivery room and cry without feeling bad. (BTW, I did not cry. I Am a Hard Ass)

So, that being said, because I know you didn’t ask, I had ’sudo’ partners.  I had my mom, my dad, my sister and my brother.

My brother rocked! He was sixteen at the time and he was my craving runner.  I wanted something, he NEVER hesitated giving it to me. When my body decided to double in size and prohibit me from waddling around, my brother was there to help it.  It was pretty cool.

My mother was my support.  Boy, I know every woman who gets along with their mother appreciates that.  I was no different than my other four pregnant friends at the time and the attachment they had with their mom’s.  I was however lucky enough to boot my dad out of the bed, because their bed was much more comfortable.  So fear not, its true, I didn’t have a husband rub my belly or my back at night, but I wasn’t in that much pain anyway.  But mom was there to feel the baby kick, because God knows, when the baby kicked I would announce it to the world. If you were lucky or unlucky (however you may see it) to be near me, I would grab your hands because feeling my little boy kick around was just the coolest thing. And I embarrassed alot of people, most men, because they thought I was weird. I wasn’t. I was just a fat happy woman.

My sister lived away, but would like to come and remind my womb tenant that she was very around, bringing me ice cream with each visit.

Then, there was my dad.  He made sure I ate and didn’t do anything remotely dangerous that could harm the baby.  He was there for that extra love and rubbing of the belly with over excitement.

Yeah, these pictures were taken a few years ago now, but they remind me of the support and excitement my family shared with me with the arrival of Joey.  They were all very excited to meet my little man.  And he for sure did not disappoint.

So on to the pictures.  Jeez… picture number one. The bro and sis in their glory. I was so use to my brother giving me what I WANTED, that once Joey was born we were having this amazing fried chicken dinner. And he decided to take the last piece!  I was so upset, I yelled at him “I’m pregnant, give me that piece!”  Where he responded, “Nope, not anymore, mine. There is your 1 month old, right there.”

So I responded back, “Hah! I’m breastfeeding! I need to eat double!”  Guess who won the last fried chicken then? That’s right.

Picture number two.  I love ice cream, so being pregnant I could eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s in one sitting, and then I would be so upset because I didn’t save any for later. So, two days before I had to be induced my sister and mother drove me twenty miles to this amazing place called the Sugar Bowl in downtown Scottsdale for some banana splits.  (Look at my cheeks!)  My sister ordered a sundae and I of course ordered a banana split.  My mom ordered NOTHING.  She thought WE, her and I, were going to share!!!  I was like, “Girl, you are crazy.  This is all mine”. I swear, a little fat person got inside of me while pregnant, I was obsessed with food.

Alas, I am pretty damn lucky, blessed, freakin’ blessed to have my crazy loving family around.

Surprise baby shower thrown by my sister

The last massive banana split desert

Between Joey and I having the Flu, the past week has included a few melt downs.  And mine are fine; I’m all good now, thanks.

But Joey on the other hand, oh boy.  Now, for anyone who has never dealt with a two year old, they are just drama central.  All two year olds, especially boys like my son I hear, can easily take Abigail Breslin a run for her money, because they are all great actors, and manipulative little creatures, very cute.

Last night as I gave Joey his bubble extra early, the earlier to bed the more joyous he is in the morning.  Joey was playing with these amazing colors that the some genius invented (seriously, who comes up with this crap, but just thank God some people do) when all of a sudden he just bursts into tears.  Now typical as it may be, his screams meant SOMETHING. I analyzed him and asked what was wrong.  All he could blurt out was “Mama, no! Mama, it hurts! Don’t touch!”  Now I’m secretly freaking out now, analyzing every body part for a scratch, a bruise, something!  Nothing, he just kept crying.

Finally the light bulb went on inside my tiny little head.  “Honey, are you ready for bed?”  That’s when the noise got louder, kind of like Boo in Monsters, Inc. (by the way, love that movie), “Yes! I’m tired. Bed time!”  And all I can think about “Wow, score. Hurry your ass up mom so the kid could sleep”.  Now I’m not sure how often this will happen, but at that point, when the tears would not stop, I knew hugs were a huge must.  Because last week when I had my particular melt down with a side of a fever and a snotty nose, someone to cuddle and hug and tell me everything would have been fine would have probably worked.  And I was cradling my tall little boy, I was kind of sad.  He fell right into baby mode.  His eyes were heavy and it kind of reminding me of the book  I’ll Love you Forever, because that is exactly how I felt.  I am that mom cradling her son, and every time I think that one day he will be all grown, Oh, I kind of freak.  Because no matter how big he gets, how dramatic he is or how crazy he makes me, that moment, right there, when his legs were falling off my lap because he is just about half my size now, that what being a crazy mommy is all about.

Even though Joey looks like this now,

Fearless

 

Holding him reminds me of this,

Needing mommy

I have been sick as a dog or just disgustingly sick for the past four days, and Joey has been sick for just about a week.

Thus, I have lacked the energy to write at all.  Finally last night I was craving food, Chinese food, and no, it was not a good idea as now I feel stomach sick but it was a great photo opportunity for my little monster here.

See how he is in Zen mode trying really hard and actually doing rather well eating with chop sticks.

Concentrating on getting the noodle

 

Got the noodle!

I am currently in the middle of a long thought process to revamp my blog and put my ideas into someone’s hands who is going to rock it.

But of course, my life is never “focused on one thing”.  I tend to over exert myself accidentally because I am so driven and think that I am capable of working, cooking, cleaning and spending all my time with Joey.  Because seriously, the best thing to do here would be to have a clone of myself, or a hotter version like Jennifer Lopez replace the cleaning and cooking part, so I can be creative with the love of my life, Joey.

Joey has been having fevers, again.  And I say that so dreading the replication that happened last year, when we visited the doctors twice a week for about two months so he can finally be diagnosed with Bronchiolitis then fuckin Asthma.  And I know you are probably all offended that I said fuckin Asthma, but I hate the bitch.

As much as I try to control my son’s asthma, it lingers. I have to change his diet, be very strict and yell at people about what he cannot eat.  I mean yell, because when someone challenges me when it comes to Joey, it pisses me off. Like I thought of this all by myself.  No, buddy. I worked with doctors, brilliant doctors who told me what I needed to do and why, and what was causing, and because I have the power to reduce the things that cause the asthma Joey is pretty much under control.

I can’t control the weather. The cold weather is hard on Joey, and I just realized this because every time it’s cold, there we go to sleep deprivation mode so I can make sure my little muchchin sleeps.

So as I have all of these amazing things on my mind, my son comes first and I am maybe, probably a very good chance on a meltdown.  And here’s the kicker for me, every woman who is on the verge of a meltdown says, “Oh, I was so stressed I lost five or ten lbs in one week.” (Insert sad face here). (Insert my WTF sarcastic face here). Because I have NEVER lost weight do to a melt down or stress. And believe me, if anyone has gone through life altering disappointments and heartache, it’s me. And I never lose weight.  Indeed, I Anna, gain weight. I am searching for fried food or I secretly binge on Taco Bell, because what is better tasting than fake meat with fake melted cheese sauce? NOTHING.

So I do really think that my clone that will look like Jennifer Lopez instead of me is due. Tonight, so she and I can stay up all night together, watching Joey sleep and balancing stuff on her booty. Now that will be fun.

One of the things I do with Joey is I include him in my grocery shopping.  This means, that as I shop he can say he loves it or “I don’t want that mammy”, so I know he won’t eat it.  I get the usual healthy foods for the week and this past week he chose a cake mix which meant he wanted cookies.

Here is the Cake Cookie Recipe that worked well for us.

1 box of Moist Chocolate Cake

1 bag of chocolate chips

2 organic eggs

2 tablespoons of water

½ cup of olive oil. (Any oil is fine)

Bake for 8-10 minutes

Now, I know, Joey is not allowed to eat eggs, but he will have like two cookies!  As his uncle will help me devour the rest. They are super scrumptious.

And as I am mixing the ingredients, my dad who is visiting is complaining the mixture  looks too thick.  It does.

Mixing ingredients

 

So I make him take a picture with the mix.

Grandpa G posing with mix.

Because if anything, this man does not cook but is constantly telling me and instructing me that I am always doing it wrong.

But voila! Cookies are done. Even though my dad had the audacity to say they looked like muffins! (He had two by the way).

Cake Cookies

Growing up I was constantly fighting with my sister and possibly my dad.  My mom use to be the only person who got me.  I only say this to start, because beware, there is A LOT more where that came from.

You could say I have a temper.  I am pretty sarcastic and I am not one to kiss ass.  However, since having my son I have completely become a softy.

Example 1:

When returning to work after having Joey, I was an assistant basically to a boss who was a hard ass.  In turn, I had to become an even harder hard ass.  And because I became a softy and started mingling more with everyone and gushing about my son, everyone stated, “Wow Anna. You have changed. You are not so mean anymore.”  OMG, I always thought to myself, not only does my little sister think I’m mean but so do my co-workers.  But seriously, I had to be, I had a lot of shit to get done and I couldn’t take no for an answer.

After realizing what a hard-ass I use to be while I was crying (obviously, I wasn’t a hard ass anymore, I cried my eyes out at Juno and any TV or movies that was related to babies) I realized that now as mommy I had to change.  Because if it’s true, what I believe, kids feed off parents energy, and since I’m a single mom, my energy was always go go go, except when it came to Joey.

Example 2:

My brother had his friends visiting as well as cousins, all boys, and they all complimented Joey and how nice giving birth had made me.  Seriously, boys are afraid of me too, no fucking wonder.  I am huge smiler (I know, I probably just made that word up but it fits here) but if you are the creep whistling at me while I walk out of Target I will not smile at you.  I will probably give you the cold stare that basically translates to “FUCK OFF”. You do not want the cold stare from me; let’s just leave it at that.

So now, Joey is two years old.  Do you know what it is like to have a two year old?  Who by the way, yesterday as it was pouring in the morning and I was holding his hand under the umbrella instead of caring him in, he is crying and screaming, “Mama! I need you. Ma I need you”. Wow, great one kid. I am a winner here.  In front of the entire staff going, “Aww, is he saying he needs you? How sweet.” I tell you, this is the age boys learn to become manipulators.  I’m just saying.

And the hardest part for me is to say, “He is just being dramatic” (With a huge smile)

I am trying so very hard to be the stern and loveable one.  Because seriously, when you are ONE person and ONE parent you almost have to have personality disorder. You have to be the disciplinarian, the enforcer, the cook, the hugger, the one that does the laundry, fold the laundry, the sympathetic one, builds forts and plays with play dough and all of the above. And I DO enjoy it and I DO love it, but IT’S EXHAUSTING.

So to prevent myself from a nervous breakdown, Joey was on a two minute time out last night (because he is two, a minute for a year, don’t you know this?), he was screaming! The kid was terrified of the rain storm screaming, “Mommy, I need you!”  This is where you say “Awwwwww.” Because I felt like the bad parent for a minute to the hugger to the sympathetic parent to the one is now having to convince him that showering with bubbles will just make everyone feel better.

The end.

What?

You should be…because I am.

When he looks at me like this, with this face. I wonder. What is he going to do next? Because as sweet as my little boy is, he is just as mischievous.

Have a little girl? Beware, I’ll I’m saying is future heartbreaker….

One of the things that I enjoy doing is cooking. I actually only love cooking if my son loves what I made. If he doesn’t eat it, I usually cry and make another thing until I am accepted as a chef. Seriously, I am really hard on myself. I’m sure the self judgment stems from having a mother who is an amazing cook. My brother and father always compare me to her.  I have to always cook like mom, but give me a break, I am such a messy cook, and at least I try.

In order for me to come up with healthy foods for Joey, I buy cook books. One of my favorite cook books is Superfoods: For Babies and Children by Annabel Karmel, actually I own two of them and they rock.

When Joey was a baby I made all of his food. I cooked and pureed everything that went into his mouth.  As he got older and as we got busier and started to slack but I hate giving him anything processed or premade by the store.  So in order to save my sanity and improve his immune system I go by this and make easy recipes.

Now, if I can wake up in the morning, put make up on, work, pick up Joey and cook…believe me you can do it to. Hope you like. Eat up!