Nothing seems to amaze me more than a bunch of woman on a couple of martinis.

Let me rephrase that a little. 

Nothing seems to amaze me more than a bunch moms on a couple of martinis.

Maybe it’s the fact that moms, me, a mom, my friends who are moms, are terribly busy, cleaning, cooking, taking care and loving our children the best we can, that when we have the opportunity to actually let loose, we seem to lose it.  Hysterics.

This morning as I was driving listening to a teen sensation being interviewed on the radio, Justin Beiber, it remind me of the hysterics of last night.

Now, I have a two year old boy.  So I had no clue who this kid was. I know Mickey Mouse damn well but not Justin Beiber.  But boy o boy was he ever charming.  I was thinking that in ten years we could be the next Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher. (I kid, I kid, yuck! Can you imagine? )

However, the radio station had invited a bunch of girls to have breakfast with teen sensation Justin Beiber.  A bunch of horny, 15 year old girls who were sobbing and crying and yelling “I love you Justin!!!!” And the kid would reply back, “I love you too!”

(I think a couple of girls fainted.)  He was hamming it up and I was in hysterics listening to the outcries of those tween girls.  But I guess who can blame them?

Justin Beiber, Teen Sensation, 15 years old.

Now, when a bunch of mom’s finally have the opportunity to get together drink and dance, picture this, those sobbing horny girls are now adult women drinking letting loose with pieces of clothes flying off.  Anyone else up for a mom’s night out?

Enough said.

I have heard horror stories about potty training. I have heard that you should read this book and that book.  And I never got around to it.  But I knew when I asked how many kids in Joey’s class were potty trained, and Joey was just about the last one.  I was like, “Oh dear God! Shit, sorry. I mean, okay, I’ll get started on that!”

And so I announced that I was going to start potty training Joey.

And now I feel a little guilty.  Joe and I left for a quick trip and Joey stayed with my mom. Grandma really put in all the hard work with the help of grandpa.  My mom called me up saying, “Joey is just so cute.  You will be very impressed.”  When we got home he was potty training.  He was in ‘big boy’ underwear, and let me tell you, this little body running around in only ‘big boy’ underwear is hilarious!  He had one accident a day, no biggie.  Well yeah, actually, when you have to wash poop from underwear, even though it’s your child, you’re looking for who is going to give you a raise.  That was not in the job description under:

Looking for the best mommy ever. ( will clean shit from a baby’s ass and the occasional accident) ewwww….

This weekend we went on another trip and Joey came with us.  He is now only wearing his ‘big boy’ underwear, but we decided a diaper may be more appropriate since we would be driving long hours. 

His diaper remained dry!  Dry people!  He refused to pee and poop in it!  We even had to make emergencies stops on the side of the road so he can pee.

And mother’s of boys, they do start from a young age right?  Boys are fascinated about how far they can pee!  Joey was cracking up and telling daddy, “Daddy, look, look, pee!” Cracking up all at the same time.  And when we would stop for poop, he would run out and announce so happy to daddy his deposit.

So Joey now is officially potty trained and I can’t even take that much credit for it because his grandma, or nana, not abuela, was the one who put in all the effort one week ago.  Go grandma.

JB cooking and stirring...

I knew I found had found a keeper when he had offered to help my mom make the mash potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner.

It doesn’t hurt either that he has a heart of gold, is charismatic and the most positive person I have ever met. Oh ya, I think he’s pretty hot too.

 

For my healthy, beautiful and amazing family.

We are happy.  We are loved and we are in love.  God has truly blessed us.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

One thing that has always made me happy is ice cream.  I LOVE ice cream.  And Joey has inherited my love for ice cream.  I’m not sure if it was the 1 pint a day I would eat ice cream while pregnant, hmmmmmm, as a reward I know he will be ecstatic for ice cream.  

Ice cream is a major treat in our house.  One because Joey is does not eat dairy or eggs because of his asthma, and two, ice cream just has too much sugar.  And it is never eaten on work night, (it’s like giving him a drug, he starts running and dancing and jumping off the walls.)

So here, since grandpa loves to spend time with Joey and reward him, we took him for some amazing Gelato a couple weeks back.  And boy oh boy were they loving it.

 

  Thankful the amazing relationship Joey has with each of his grandparents.  Here’s to you dad.

One of my favorite things to do is eat!  I’m like Joey, I love to eat.  Heck, who doesn’t love to eat?  Joe and I took our first baby free trip to the bay area for several, several reasons.  One of which included visiting San Francisco for my first time ever!!!!!!!!!!!  And also going to Pier 39 to try some of their delicious clam chowder.  Or as I like to call it, some clam chowda!

 

And boy was it goooooood…..

 

After living in the damn desert for some time it was refreshing to get away, eat wherever you wanted, sleep more than five hours straight and enjoy each other’s company.  Because after one has kiddos, we all know that enjoying and eating a meal in slow motion, ooing and ahhing and making sex sounds over food just doesn’t happen that much anymore.  Ahhhh…to be not single anymore…….

When I recover from all the food I have been fed, I promise I have great news and funny stories.  In the meantime, I will lay here having eaten the most amazing clam chowda in Pier 39 in San Francisco, some delicious bad ass BEER CAN chicken and ribs…just to start off my holiday season.                                          

Excuse me while I recover from my food coma.

In attempt to be comfortable and warm at work, I opted to wear these fabulous boots that are ususally tucked in the back of my closet.  Because I usually wear black high heel boots to work, Joey brought me my boots, (you know, because he’s my servant…I kid..I kid).  I think even he was surprised that mommy was wearing something else today.  But he was very impressed with the suede as he kept caressing my boots and saying, “OOOOOOO, Mummy, I like.”

Even he knows a thing about style or two.

A few weeks ago my son was struck with the Strep and the Flu. Gasp! The Swine Flu!  I hate calling it that, the H1N1.

Now, I never said anything to people because we, Joe and I, didn’t think it was that much of a big deal.  And neither did his doctor, whom I adore by the way. He always tells me that Joey is the cutest kid he has ever seen but I’m sure he tells everyone that.  But when he says it I totally believe him and agree with him!

Joey has asthma.  Joey hates vegetables.  I have to be very creative when it comes to cooking and making sure he does not eat dairy or eggs and has vitamins to supplement what he lacks in food.  I don’t deprive my son of anything but I do limit what he eats.  If he wants ice cream, then he CAN have ice cream.  It’s not like an everyday thing.  I have gotten good, not pretty good, just good at hiding vegetables in soups or sauces.  My kid eats like a piggy.  A piggy with manners. ( And he is so cute because while I am cooking he will run in the kitchen and say, “Mummy, thank you!” And once I serve him and sit down to eat with him he says again, “Mummy, thank you!” Joey is just so polite!”) But I digress.

The Swine Flu.  Joey has a little cousin that he adores to play with.  When they hang out they share almost everything, including germs.  So after finding out that his cousin was sick with the Flu, H1N1 virus, it so happened Joey didn’t feel well the evening after.  Joey didn’t have a fever but he was complaining that his throat hurt.  I was sick as well.  We both went to see the doctor.  I went to a woman, a D.O or M.D and that lady insisted, I mean almost politely badgered me into getting the flu shot!  I positively told her ten times or so, No thank you! “ But your son, he can get the flu. And its sooooooo dangerous”. Wow, that’s how they get people. I just don’t want the shot, thanks Dr. ( I ended up having a viral infection God knows where, I was good after two days, thank you very much.)

We then see the pediatrician, and I can totally tell he was super busy, but as soon as he walks in the room, it’s like we are the only ones there. Awesome!  Joey was tested for the Flu and Strep. Both came back positive.  OH MY GOD!  And I asked, oh so sheepishly, what kind of flu? His response, “The only flu going around is the H1N1.” Yikes!  Red lights flashing in my head!  I wanted to call all of my naturopathic doctor friends but I felt that they needed a break from all my badgering and questions I text them so late at night.

I was given prescriptions for both Strep and the Flu, the H1N1 virus!  And I was prepared for the worse.  After all, Joey’s little cousin was hit with it hard. Poor baby, fever and more high fevers for him.  Joey on the other had been sick, but fine!  He was a kid people!  We cuddled and did the asthma treatments, he had a serious wheeze, but after a few days, he was back to Joey.  And no one knew, no one freaked out and no one got the H1N1 virus from Joey.

This makes me so very happy because I keep hearing mom’s say, “You know what I heard?  My mail man’s friend’s sister’s cousin’s twelve year old son got the swine flu and died!” And everyone else is going, “OMG, why? How?”  “Because he had ASTHMA!!!”

Bullshit. Now I’m not saying that didn’t happen. But people are so terrified.  Let’s see, yes, complications can arise.  But people can die from anything, God forbid.  I’m serious, God forbid. 

And because I didn’t want to freak anyone out, guess what, Joey had the H1N1 flu virus and strep and he is fine.  No one got sick!  Wait, except little Ezekiel whom they share toys and flu with.

Moral of the story? Wash your hands and don’t leave the house! Wait, no.  Wash your hands and be happy and positive.

I could post a million pictures of myself within the past eight years or so and you will see that my hair ALWAYS looks the same. Here are three at different points in the past eight years.  (Except for this summer when I went sort of blonde, but didn’t end up loving it).

Three years ago.

Eight months pregnant with Joey.

Joey was six months old.

 No more pictures, you can see my hair still looks the same! 

I am currently struggling to change my hair. I know the easy thing would be cut it super short, but then I would probably die.

I love long hair. I do. And I love being brunette. I have this love hate relationship with my bangs.  I have highlighted before, subtle, and I have cut it just below my shoulders.  No one could probably tell.  But now, it’s long, like almost at my waist long.  I would love a new look but not too dramatic, I resist change as much as I can.  So a question for you, what would you do to my hair???